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Worse. Nov. 2nd, 2005 @ 09:00 pm
Today has been a long, long day.

I woke up at 5:24 today with Crookshanks butting his head against my side. It was absolutely frigid in my room, because my fire went out somehow and I had the hardest time finding my wand. First thing in the morning I sometimes forget that I am a witch... I got out of bed and re-lit the fire by hand before I realized I could have cast a spell.

Then I skipped breakfast and met Absinthe for this bullshit ancient runes project, in which we both held our own, personalized runes and attempted to do anything with them. AN YTHING. I've been researching like mad this entire time and I have not come up with anything what so ever resembling the rune signs on my set. Purple of all colors. Purple. Me. Purple. I'm not allowed to examine Abstinthe's set at length. Every time I try and study them my vision goes blurry, so I'm assuming there is a magical shield in place.

So we sit there, facing each other, playing with our runes in our hands, concentrating.. on 'feeling' the magic in these runes we can't read nor interpret. The so called 'goal' of this project is to blend our magical energies in a physical object as per to connect our magic to a 'greater' plane, or some such rot. To be quite honest, I was so frustrated with this ridiculous piece of tripe that I think it was the very first time I couldn't pay attention to a Professor.

So basically I spent three hours in the library staring down Absinthe, shuffling the runes in my hand, arranging them in different patterns and trying to ignore the pained look on her face. I have a feeling she is going to lose patience with this project very quickly.

Then I almost passed out, waiting for lunch period, as I was -starving-
and then I got stuck in the middle of some akward, unexplainable spat between Harry and Seamus - the two of them had wands out for Merlin's sake! Of course neither of you had an explanation for it either, did you, boys?! Just wands out and lunch disturbed and then I had to spend my lunch hour dealing with each of you so you wouldn't jump eachother later like first years!

So after dealing with them! (I don't care if this is on my journal, it wasn't like the entire school didn't see it either) I missed my lunch and had to deal with a surly potions master, who decided to make an example out of the head girl the ONE DAY I didn't know the answer to some obscure potions trivia he would NEVER expect ANYONE to know, he denounces me in class. You think by now I would be used to his pig-headedness and bigotry but somethings I suppose are just harder to swallow than you think.

THEN - I just had to run into every single supposedly 'happy' couple in this whole castle. I don't know what is wrong with you people. You would think that it was St. valentine's day, except that it's the middle of September! I have had to give out 6 detentions today - all to you seventh years (who shall go unnamed for now.) Even if you can't keep each your hands off each other, please keep your hands off anyone 5th year and below!


I hope you aren't out past curfew tonight.
&i am : aggravatedaggravated
&i am listening to: Fiona Apple - Paper Bag

Sep. 30th, 2005 @ 08:05 pm
So after the firsr week as Head Girl, I've got a fine cataglogue of illegal items, bruises and even a few low level dark devices (How some one smuggled in a snitching buzzer I'll never be able to figure out). I've probably accumulated about 12 hours of sleep in 7 days and I am -still- behind on my school work. Also, it seems I might have aqquired a bit of a cold from sitting in the freezing rain to watch Gryffindor's Quidditch trials, as Harry decided he needed a 'backup' judge, even though I know almost nothing about Quidditch, Thankfully, he really didn't need my opinion at all. I do love having my own room, as it allows me more time to study distraction free - but sleep keeps getting in my way.

These N.E.W.T level classes are not exactly what I expected them to be. My Ancient Runes class is taught through an un-expected practical, hands-on approach. Apparently, this entire semester we're NOT going to meet in class, but instead we are going to work on a project with NO parameters what so ever, assigned to a partner through some arcane, mystical process that I have't been able to decipher yet. Imagine - Professor Vector just hands my partner and I a special set of runes after we were 'confirmed' in our partner ship, (it's a long story) and tells us something to the tune of 'Get 'er done', which I do NOT understand.

Of course, when I approached Professor Dumbledore about the unfairness of this so called 'project', he merely smiled at me and told me that it was completely fair and that I might actually learn something. I don't understand how I'm to understand anything when I'm not given any information to build off of. Not only is Vector not instructing us but once a month (and in a private conference that last all of 15 minutes) - but we're supposed to keep up with a rigerous assignment schedule AND our this stupid project, which is 75% of our grade and qualifies us for our N.E.W.Ts. It's quite ridiculous - I've never not known how to do a project but I've also never not been given guideline.

I'm so annoyed at all of this. It's enough to make me scream. My partner is not of the bad-sort, and she is intelligent - but I have a feeling she won't care as much as I do.. which has always been a point of contention when it comes to 'partners' and I.

Oh god - speaking of point of contention - I have been confiscating trashy magazines left and right. I just want to know who in hell thought that it was a good idea to give the 5th year boys porn? If I find out who you are, you're going to wish that Professor Dumbledore figured it out - because at least he'll be fair. I've already had to deal with the fall out of about 15 of these so called 'lust spells' listed in those magazines and it's not a pretty situation. Luckily they aren't as effective as boasted to be, otherwise you might be in some really deep shit.

I really need some sleep

(Hermione Granger, Head Girl)

Aug. 26th, 2005 @ 07:46 am
This year has already been absolutely dreadful. I am not in a good mood, to say the least. Not only am I swamped with my classes (Arithmancy, Ancient Runes, Potions, Configuration, Charms and Herbology) but I have been overwhelmed with Head Girl duties. It seems like so much, but apparently we have the smallest first year class since 1807. Strange, yes?

Speaking of the clueless, useless first years, if I catch any of you torturing some hapless young ones on this flimsy excuse of 'tradition' I will personally be showing you another bit of Hogwarts 'tradition' : Detention. Gryffindors, that includes you.

So, summer hols was absolutely fantastic. I went to America and it was fantastic. America gives me ideas of enterprise. Imagine - America has only been in existance for about 200 years and they have already accomplished so much. And all built by muggles! I met only a few wizards, all disenchanted ex country men. All of them seemed to have a word to say about the state of our Ministry... and of course, none of them were good. But who really likes Fudge, anyway?

Damn - I hear wailing down the hall. Time to save the day... again. *sigh*

Aug. 26th, 2005 @ 06:00 am

May. 10th, 2005 @ 11:16 am
Harry's dissapeared. I hadn't seen him in a few days and I went to check on him and his room was ransaked. His furnature was smashed to bits and he burnt all of his art work and books. Hedwig is gone too and he's gone and I don't know where he is. No one does. Even Dumbledore can't find him.

[block all]

I'm so terrified. Harry's been... unstable to say the least and I can't find him. Every spell I've tried has just come back with negative results and I can't even feel him any more. Please if there's a God in heaven let him not have gone after Voldemort. Oh god, please don't let Harry be dead. Please, please please.
Other entries
» (No Subject)
It's amazing how quickly time flies when you're busy. Note, I said busy, not necessarily having fun. With my time suddenly free now that both my best friends are running around chasing after empty-headed women, I've been relegated to my third choice - my books. However, they've served me better than others have and never done me any harm. Thankfully, McGonagall has been kind enough to assist me in giving me an unlimited pass to the Restricted section and I have been spending most of my time there.

I have also been sleeping a lot lately. My dreams are strange and dark, with formless shapes driving me out of my sleep at night so that I wake up, cold and sweaty to go back to fitful tossing and turning. As I'm not getting the quality, I'm trying to make up for the lack in quantity. It's not working, though. I fret over the smallest things and I feel so antsy all the time.

I am tired again as I am typing this. Time to take a nap.
» Same shit, different day
School and research. That's been everything that I have been up to when I'm not drunk. It's been so awkward being back in this castle with students scurrying about, worried about their assignments getting turned in on time and commenting on who's fucking who, but in the end - it's all about wether we live or die in the end, I for one plan on living. So the library has been keeping me company as it has done for all these past years.

While I've been in there, I've noticed Millicent Bullstrode has often been found only a few rows down from me, and quite plainly it's quite odd to me. I don't mind her, but I've never noticed her in the library before, and she looks at me strangely. When she looks at me, I could swear Merlin it's like she's reading me, as if she's trying to decide if I'm worthy of something. I'm not sure.

On another note, my father and I have been doing some unsure corrospondance lately. I believe he heard of what happened, as Harry wrote my parents when I refused to. (I'm still mad at you for that, btw) Olivia is progressing very well, and she's absolutely adorable. At the mention of all the strange occurances that have been happening at his house, I'm also pretty sure that Olivia is a witch, also. I'm terrified of what this world may be like by the time she is 11 and on her way to Hogwarts.

My mother is fine, and she also is on her way to rebuilding her life... seems that my mother has found herself a new boyfriend, and that their relationship is progressing smoothly. I find it funny that while I've regulated myself to a life of spinsterhood, my mother is out on the town with a new man, dancing the evenings away. Great.

That's about it. I'm going back to the library.

[owl to Blaise Zabini]

Blaise, I would like for us to get together some time soon and introduce ourselves properly. I'm ashamed to know that I've ignored you slightly for about 7 and 1/2 years, and seeing as I've already heard so much about you, I want to see if all the Harry-hype is true. Let me know.

- Hermione Granger
» (No Subject)
I'm better now.

Don't ask me what kicked me out of my .. funk, as some one put it. All I know is that now I'm settling into something more normal, and I've finally can begin to grieve. But I'm not, I'm not, I'm not.

I'm empty of any grief, any sadness. All I can feel is an everpresent and allconsuming anger against the people who did this to me, to Rene. To Harry. To Tonks.

However, I'm not going to huddle behind my books, waiting patiently for the war to come to me. I'm taking things into my own hands, and I'm not letting anyone take anything from me again, and nothing will stop me. Nothing.
» (No Subject)
Christmas is a time of forgiveness and family, a time of coming together. I saw my father for the first time in a little over a year tonight, when I heard my mother call me from downstairs. I had been reading 'A Christmas Carol' (it's my own personal christmas tradition...) and when I got down there, mother was no where to be seen. Instead, it was my father, crouching by the fire place with a cup of egg nog in his hand. He stood when I came down, and smiled like he was nervous. Nervous of me, his own daughter.

That's when the of my own mistakes fully hit me. He hadn't said a word, but everything he ferealizationlt was written in the lines across his forehead as his eyebrows creased in worry and concern. He stepped forward in trepidation, and that simple move caused me to burst into tears, and before I knew it I was buried in my father's arms, weeping while he patted down my ragged hair.

We stayed like that for what seemed like hours, and when I felt strong enough to break away, his eyes were bright. I was shocked, knowing right then that I had just witnessed my father crying for the first time in my life. I sat down then and told how horrid I felt, and how desperately I missed him, even though before that moment I hadn't really even admitted it to myself. I told him all the stories I had unconciously bottled up inside, preserving them for him and him only. I told him how once Rene admonished me for drinking too many sodas in one day, saying it would rot my beautiful teeth and I told my father how much I had thought of him then. Rene told me tales of New Orleans history and famous battles and I told my father of my and his history, and how we were still fighting one.

He merely looked at me, holding my hand. "Do you believe him?" he asked me, staring at me in the way that kept me from lying. "Yes. I believe that he truely is sorry," I answered in absolute truth, and he sat back and thought for a second. "You know, Christmas is the time for forgiveness, and I know that if I were him, I couldn't stand the idea of spending it with out you." and in his usual crypic way, he just stood up, kissed my forehead and then grabbed his keys and coat, leaving me downstairs to stare into the fire for hours.

The next time I moved I sent Rene an owl, and Merlin, I hope he gets this in time.

Owl to ReneCollapse )

because really, I think it's about time he meets his future in-laws.
» (No Subject)
I adore living in this flat. Granted, I do not adore getting my belongings ruined and/or eaten when they are outside of the boundaries of my room, but... I absolutely can not get enough of having my own room. The view is beautiful from my window, and the lighting is fantastic during the day. I did it in dark maroon and greens, because quite honestly, I really am sick of red and gold, as much as I do love Gryffindor.

...and I have room for my books! Finally, I can have bookshelves! No more shrinking my pile of books every time I'm finished with them. I can leave my clothes on the floor and no one to yell at me to turn the lights out after midnight when I'm still reading, aaaaaaannnnnnnd I can work on my experiements all the time and not have to go all the way to the dungeons! As Harry put it, it's my 'bookish wet dream'.

The flat-mate situation isn't half bad, either, I suppose. I'm not easy with most people and I'm prim, but I've managed to survive well enough. I'm glad that Demise and I were put together, it makes things..easier, I guess. I've not seen much of Rosier, and he merely gives me a nod when he does see me, which is fine. He's not made much noise, either..but I can't say the same for Malfoy. Speaking of..Malfoy, please restrain your 'pet plant'. I don't want to hurt it or you.

My father has written me, recently. He sent along a picture of himself and Olivia... and as well as his new wife. I kept it, but I did magic her out of the picture. Sue me, I'm being immature for once in my life.

I have been sleeping too much recently, and I'm not sure why, but I'm tired again so I am going to bed.


- Hermione
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